Jealousy is one of those feelings, which most of us feel at some point in time or the other. Let’s be honest here! Of course, if jealousy gets extreme, then it can lead to some solid behavior changes, as per studies. Also, it can ruin your relationships, mental peace, and career. But, there have been a lot of misconceptions and preconceived notions also about jealousy, to be honest. And it has often been seen as something very negative and dark. So, what is the real psychology of jealousy? Is jealousy always a bad thing? How can one handle it in a better way? Let’s find out all the answers in today’s blog. Get started then!
What Is Jealousy?
Jealousy is often that complex feeling we feel due to a lack of self-confidence. We go through this emotion towards another person, who might be someone close to us, and you worry that he or she might be giving more importance or getting close to some other person. Basically, you feel insecure in this case. However, sometimes, we also feel jealous as we go through lower self-esteem, and we perceive the other person better and more successful than us as per different facets.
Well, honestly, there can be various different aspects of jealousy. As I mentioned, it can be seen as a simple human response on the surface level, but in reality, jealousy may be a complex emotion, and we need to better comprehend the psychology of jealousy.
Is Jealousy Always About Romantic Relationships?
What do you think? Well, according to me, of course, jealousy can be a very common part of romantic relationships. However, it does not mean that people cannot or don’t feel envious outside their romantic dynamics. We all sometimes feel insecure and jealous of people who may be doing better than us in their job, relationships, parenting, and a lot more. Isn’t it?
That’s why saying that jealousy can only be a part of romantic relationships is far away from reality. Jealousy can be in various other places, dynamics, and whatnot.
What Can Be The Causes Of Jealousy?
As we see above, there can be thousands of different reasons behind jealousy. However, let’s try to understand some of the most general and common aspects evoking envy inside you.
Comparison is the main culprit-
Yes, you heard it absolutely right! Comparison can cause jealousy amongst us. In our society, it would not be wrong to say that comparison is quite normal, and we see it up close and personal since our childhood. We often get told that we are not good enough, or someone might be doing better than us in studies, career, relationship, money, and more.
These constant bouts of comparison lower our confidence and self-worth, pushing us towards feeling more and more envious.
Lower self-esteem and confidence-
To be frank, not all born with higher confidence and self-esteem. And, as they say, it is a skill that can be taught over time. Having said that, self-confidence can get impacted due to various reasons. The way we were brought up, our family environment, emotional support, our worldview, and more make up how confident we are today in our lives.
For instance, kids who weren’t brought up in a very healthy environment and amongst toxic people may find it hard to believe in themselves. Consequently, they tend to become more jealous in their approaches. But, it is not some general rule. In fact, in some cases, if someone go through hardships in their lives, then they better understand how important it is to be grateful and love themselves. They can be ones who spark confidence in themselves as well as in others way more than anybody can ever had.
Degraded mental health-
Yes! Dealing with any sort of mental health issue is not easy. And it can literally have certain thoughts and feelings inside you, which is not always necessarily helpful.
People struggling with depression and anxiety often find questioning themselves or are over critical of their skills. Thus, mental health crises can also cause some form of jealousy inside us. Seeking professional approaches, like talk therapy can enhance your mental health and lower your self-doubt and criticism.
Negative self-image-
Not necessarily we all get brought in a very healthy and loving environment, as I have mentioned above as well. It would not be wrong to say our teen ages are believed to be our molding years. We are most likely to become what we get surrounded by within our teen years.
So, if we were told that we are not good enough or get abused verbally or in any other way, or something traumatic happened to us at that initial stage of our lives, we may likely perceive ourselves as not good enough later as well. That’s how negative self-image gets curated and trapped inside our subconscious.
However, human beings are built to change themselves. There’s always hope at the end of the tunnel. With the right support and awareness, one can change themselves and not get trapped in these negative self-talk. Considering, negative self-image can also trigger jealousy.
This was about some of the general causes behind the psychology of jealousy. With that being said, different people may express this very emotion because of some other reasons and circumstances.
How To Handle Jealousy In A Healthy Way: Better Understand The Psychology Of Jealousy!
Yes, there are some better ways to deal with feeling jealous. Let’s have a look at some of them-
Embrace your feelings-
The more resistance you show towards your true feelings and emotions, the more powerful they get. It’s true with your every emotion, so with jealousy. Accept that you are feeling a certain way. Without accepting and being true to yourself, you will never be able to overpower them.
Don’t perceive it as something bad-
The biggest mistake we human beings make is we always try to label our thoughts and emotions. Like this is bad and this is good. Be positive and whatnot. Jealousy is not always necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes your jealousy can serve the best for you as well. For example, if you love your spouse, showing some form of jealousy can show them that you love and care for them.
Become mindful of your triggers-
If you are struggling with any sort of mental health, or even when we talk about getting envious, understanding your triggers is crucial. Become aware of yourself. What makes you feel a particular way! Are you around some specific people when you feel jealous? Notice! The more you do that, the better you get eventually to catch your triggers.
Also Read: Top Personality Tips That Will Make You Uniquely Stand Out!
Talk it out and share-
Yes, sharing is caring, as they say! Talk it out! Share your emotions and feelings with your confidant. Mention how you feel about yourself or which person makes you feel envious. Sometimes, when we share our feelings with others, it becomes easy to understand ourselves. Also, often our closed ones help us comprehend the main issue, which is hard to perceive at the surface level.
Seek support and help-
Eventually, if your emotions are getting intense or you are not able to understand why you are feeling jealous and it’s affecting your relationships or career, for example, seek out professional help. Professionals know how to tap into your deepest fears and patterns of thinking. They can help you groom your behavior and push you on the bright side of life.
By following these steps, one can break the loop of their negative envious responses. It is a healthier way to handle the psychology of jealousy.
I hope you like this blog about better understanding the psychology of jealousy. Would love to hear your thoughts! Keep following HearthFeelings for more insightful mental health resources.
