The world of the internet-powered digital ecosystem and oversharing on social media has turned parenting into a whole other kettle of fish with unwarranted online indulgence and frustration. Frankly speaking, parenthood seems to have thrown into a tailspin as we see mothers and fathers going bizarre with their out-of-the-way parenting practices.
Take a mother of the Suryapet District of Telangana, for instance — she tied her 15-year-old cannabis-addicted son to a pole and then rubbed chili powder in his eyes to punish him for his misdeed. The teenager was heard wailing awfully out of burning sensations while the woman broke the tie only after her son promised not to smoke cannabis any longer. As the video of this horrific incident went viral on social media, many called this an act of evil, while others have been found favoring this barbaric practice of parenting.
There might be two opinions about the incident — one is of a caring mom concerned about her son’s cannabis addiction, and the other is about a cold-blooded woman who throws chili powder in a teenager’s eyes. The short-term impact of the inhuman treatment of a mom to her son is not as detrimental as the long-term harm turning out of her son’s cannabis addiction.
The fact is that everything around parenthood, in all honesty, is subject to debate. What is morally right and what is sinfully wrong in parenting is, in fact, a lot of brain crunching? To better understand ideal parenting practices, we, in the following post, have picked out some examples of bad parenting while also looking into their behavioral science — just to figure out the right paths and practices of parenthood.
What is Bad Parenting?
Biologically, bad parenting does not consist of a single, careless act of poor nurture but instead is the result of many such actions that lead to psychological damage to a child. Often, parents feel guilty and attempt to reconcile, but the outcome isn’t always positive.
The majority of parents are unaware they are doing something stupid because it might be unintentional, or they are too busy to learn how to be parents. While some parents do not prepare for the worst-case scenario, others do not care enough. Taking all of these factors together, parents demonstrate poor parenting skills.
ALSO READ: 4 types of parenting and how it effects your child
25 Examples of Bad Parenting
Being a bad parent is evident in a number of parenting incidents. Listed below are some factors that could unintentionally contribute to you being labeled a bad parent or mother:
Picking a child’s mistakes but not valuing if he has
Picking a child’s mistakes at all hours of the day and night is an example of bad parenting. You scold the child for committing a mistake, even though he acknowledged that he had done something wrong. You seem to have forgotten that he was honest about the mistake he had made.
Scolding, punishing, and hitting the child in public
A child is not exempt from being chastised irrespective of where he lives or who surrounds him. It’s embarrassing that you scold him in front of friends, siblings, and even the neighbors. There may even be slaps involved.
Keep giving advice instead of encouraging
Bad parenting also involves constant nagging. The only thing you do is tell him what to do. Instead of telling him, “You need to get up early to get better grades,” have him respond with a positive statement, “You are far smarter than you think – I can help you get up early.
Not displaying adequate affection
It is quite possible that your child feels less close and warm to you because he is always bothering you with naughty tricks in order to get your attention. Instead of holding your child in your arms out of love, you get annoyed with what your child does to get your attention. Displaying a bit of your affection will get everything sorted; you just need to change the mindset.
Not supporting the child when he most needs you
Your child may need extensive support from you during the time of his school examinations. The child feels neglected because you are preoccupied with loads of official work, or maybe other commitments are shifting your focus from taking care of your kid in his hour of need.
Always comparing your child with other kids
Parenting a child is all about setting a good example and showing him that you care, but constantly comparing him with another child is a sign that you aren’t doing your job. A kid who is doing good in a subject of his interest might be dull in many others. You, being a sensible parent, are not supposed to put your child’s abilities on a comparison chart with other such kids.
Never feeling proud of what the child accomplishes
Rather than showing your child any appreciation for their success, parents make them feel bad about their accomplishments. When your child wins pride, you do nothing to show your joy at their success. If you are one of this kind, honestly, there has not been much reason for you to be proud as a parent.
Constantly criticizing your child instead of praising
You see the child in a negative light, and you are always critical of him. It’s not that you don’t appreciate something since there is no receptivity, but here your disapproval is unlimited. Criticizing your child for everything that he does will take him/her far from your heart. Better will be to pick some praiseworthy points for your child to make him feel that he also has value in his being.
Not trying to understand your child’s feelings
The only thing that makes bad parenting worse is not understanding or respecting your child’s feelings; this is a lack of empathy and compassion on your part. While you are busy teaching good things, you never take the time to understand the opinions and feelings of your child. Your first reaction to anything he shares is to ignore it as a cock-and-bull story.
Setting examples of poor parenting
Children learn from their parents, everything from good to bad habits. So when your child does something terrible and inappropriate, there are chances that you may have taught him that intentionally or unintentionally. The act of setting poor examples can lead to poor parenting.
Not being the change that you want to see in your child
You are not just showing the path; you have to walk with the child for a few steps as well to show the right way to do things. Be more involved with your actions than your words. You just care about pointing the way to your child instead of accompanying him/her on the path. What’s better here is being the change that you want to see in your child.
Leaving your child with no choices at all
The majority of parents make their children feel bad about their accomplishments; however, during this process, you tend to become overly strict, to the point that you forget to give your children the freedom to choose what they want. It makes the child longing for other things where in some instances, he will not be afraid to take them without asking.
Pampering more than needed
Bad parenting also involves overly pampering the child. It is fine to shower attention and materialistic love upon the child, but it is not the best thing to do lest the child becomes a spoilt brat. The child, thus, takes everything for granted and doesn’t understand what is important, making him appear pretentious, which, in the life ahead, can damage his social standing.
Not Allowing Your Child to Take Charge
Children who their parents hold until they are incapable of making their own decisions suffer from low self-esteem and low self-confidence. Being a sensible parent, you need to allow your child to take charge of his responsibilities. It will help him grow as a rational individual who knows how to get on his/her own.
Physically intimidating the child
Bullying a child every now and then is extremely unprofessional and uncool. The use of physical force to control your child is a bad parenting technique. You raise your hand out of aggression without getting into the outcome. Child psychology says that physically intimidating your child every time when your child makes mistake water down the bond of affection. Intimidation is not the technique to keep your child disciplined.
Not trying to engage in your child’s activities
A bad parenting style is neglecting to respond properly to the child. The child needs guidance and comfort, but instead, you respond bluntly with no holds barred, leaving your child disappointed. He/she may approach you multiple times in a bid to receive your response, but you refuse to act appropriately. As much you engage with your child’s activities, as much your child feels connected. Be an engaging parent to set your relationship with your child on good terms.
Not letting them do things of their interests
Forcing your child to do well in the things that are not, in any sense, of his interests is the worst example of parenting — doing so may bring your child’s morale down. The better approach is to encourage him to do what he is up to in his spiritual, psychological, or academic being. Allowing the young blood to live the time of his youth can help him with the social exposure that an aspiring child may need in the time of his life for successful accomplishments.
Piquing their mistakes instead of recognizing strengths
Not all mankind has the same capabilities. Each child is born with his own strengths and weaknesses, and even small problems can be solved. You are not meant to always pique the humiliation out of your child’s faults and flaws. As a sensible parent, you need to keep your cognitive conscience awake to recognize your child’s strengths and recognize the things that he is good at doing.
Burying them under a load of your expectations
You have lived the time of your life with some fulfilled and unfulfilled dreams and aspirations — bravo for every fulfillment you have achieved so far. Now you have one or two unfulfilled dreams buried somewhere in the corner of your heart. What most fathers do in the course of their fatherhood is transfer a load of unfulfilled aspirations on the shoulders of their younger ones. This illustrates an example of bad parenting.
Whether a mother or a father, parents are not supposed to bury their children with the load of their expectations or aspirations that they were hoping to have fulfilled in their youth. Have some sense and let your child set out his own set of dreams and aspirations. Rest assured, he will make you feel proud the other day.
Not permitting your child to choose the career path of his choice
It is your pleasure as a concerned parent to help your child find a career he or she is passionate about. However, like most other parents, you don’t allow your child to pick a career of his choice. What can be another worse example of a bad parent than this?
You had your life, and you lived it to the fullest while fulfilling all the choices you had on your mind. Now it’s the turn of your kiddo. Let him have the liberty to choose the career path of his liking. He will do better in a career of his own choice than a career choice passed on by his parents.
Always trying to put your tongue in your child’s mouth
Do you let your child express himself often? Probably not in major cases. No, it’s not just you who do this. Every other parent can be seen trying to stick their tongue in their kids’ mouths. Expecting your child to utter out what you have in your heart shows the sign of bad parenting. Stop doing so now — it’s for the betterment of your child’s expressive abilities.
Allowing your child too much phone & social media
This is true that the modern cultural & lifestyle virtues and excess of unreasonable exposure to technology & social media have put parenting practices on a false front. Whether you do it out of negligence or don’t care about the intellectual and psychological well-being of the next generation, allowing your children to spend most of their time with technology, gadgets, smartphones, and social media is too hairy to handle.
Not monitoring how your child spends his time online
The emergence of the internet and the internet-powered platforms have surrounded the online ecosystem with filthy content. And, like other warmhearted parents, you have handed over a smartphone to your child out of love. But if you forget to monitor your child’s online activities in the age of technology.
When you expose your children to social media and technology more than they need, you also get them exposed to the content that he is too young to grasp. It is necessary for your child’s psychological well-being that you keep an eye on all his online sessions.
Turning a blind eye to his gaming addiction
Technology has brought a ton of virtual games to children’s access. Research reveals that most gamers aged 8-15 play video games almost every day. 72% of girls say that playing video games is a regular part of their daily routine. This online gaming addiction might develop a sense of loneliness where he starts liking to be alone in his isolated space. Be an intellectual parent and stop turning a blind eye to the gaming addiction of your child.
Not letting him enjoy his present under the worries of future endeavors
“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift.” The famous age-old quote says it all. It’s better to keep your parenting ideals moderate when fostering your children. Another example of bad parenting is not letting your child enjoy his present under the worries of future endeavors. Instead of getting your child tense about future uncertainties, let them enjoy the time of their lives. Have patience and stay hopeful that your child will also do some good in the time that lies ahead.
What leads to bad parenting
No parent tends to go with his parenting practices intentionally to go low with his parenting practices intentionally — it is just the course of life that drags fathers and mothers to slip out of the ideal parenting path. Maybe it’s the divorce that has impacted your parenting routine, or it may be the frustration and fatigue of the multiple business propositions that destroy all the good things of parenthood. Whatever the causes of bad parenting, you, as counselors suggest, need to keep yourself calm while taking care of your child.
There are parents who start consuming drugs without caring about the surroundings of innocent kids. Then some parents develop an abusive nature out of their inadequacy of resources. Sometimes the case may be an extramarital affair. The world is full of different species of parents who tend to turn bad in the name of parenthood. Make sure you are not one of them.
Parents who get trapped in any of the above scenarios are advised to bind themselves to an oath that whatever they do will not, in any way, leave a bad impression on their children. This is for the sake of the child’s physical, mental, and psychological well-being — you, being an ideal parent, must have the capacity to remain ideal for your kids throughout the course of parenting.
Effects of bad parenting
A child who receives poor parenting can suffer long-term damage, and it has been noticed oftentimes that the damages of bad parenting are irreversible. The consequences of poor parenting can be severe and may have a devastating effect.
The following are some of the negative effects of poor parenting on a child:
It is quite likely that he will display similar empathy at all places of his acquaintance. As a consequence, those children become apathetic towards everyone they meet and greet in the schools, their neighborhood, or wherever they roam around.
Difficulty in developing a lasting relationships
This can be attributed to low self-confidence or brash behavior, which would result from an authoritarian parenting style. When a child doesn’t receive emotional investment from their parents, he or they can develop emotional problems and have difficulty interacting with others later in life.
Developing anxiety and depression
Children who grow up experiencing bad parenting are more likely to suffer from anxiety and depression as adults. The way you parent your kids can make a long-term impact on their psychological being. The mental disorders, anxieties, and depression that develop in the child during the course of parenting may take years to overcome. The children in this situation are likely to become social misfits as they grow up. Eventually, it makes them an outcast, as it decreases their chance of being part of society.
Developing autism
Bad parenting is misunderstood as causing autism in children — many parents believe so. However, it has been seen in children that bad parenting, in many instances, leads to the development of autism in children where they feel a lack of confidence in their communication and behavior. The fact is that autistic children require a different kind of parenting style, and you being a wise parent, don’t hesitate to change.
Developing criminal attitude
Physical repression may seem like the only solution to handling naughty children. However, repeated usage of physical punishment can make a child believe it is okay to strike someone for no reason at all. As the child grows up, that belief manifests as an immoral desire to harm others deliberately. In general, the child develops a criminal attitude in his behavior — and it sounds too horrifying to handle for concerned parents.
All of these conditions may seem quite frightening, but you can always change how you parent to better your child’s life.
Being a better parent isn’t as hard as it seems
You, too, can set an example of an ideal parent before your kids by employing the ideal parenting practices; it’s just a matter of your willingness to play ideal, at least before your children. Rest the course of parenthood will do itself for the healthy upbringing of your children.
The best time to change your parenting style is now, and here are a few tips to help you develop and adopt ideal parenting practices:
Avoid yelling and hitting the child
The tendency of children to be naughty can be challenging. Your exhausted mind may lose patience, turning your peace into aggression. Some parents may not hesitate to smack their child in the face without caring about the surroundings. Your children may feel bad about it. As a parent, you must know how to handle the naughty outbursts of your child in a more reasonable manner. Once he does anything wrong, you must calm yourself down first before you let him know how he was wrong with what he has just done.
Allow the child to make his own choices
When deciding what to do for your child, make sure you ask for an opinion. Instead of jumping to conclusions like, “I will change your tuition tomorrow.” Instead, you can say, “I don’t think this tuition suits you.” This will teach the child responsibilities and traits of leadership while also teaching him how to make wise decisions. It will be of more relevance to adolescents since they may feel annoyed when no one asks about their preferences before deciding for them.
Start listening carefully to what he says
You can also practice good parenting by listening to your child carefully when he has something to share. This includes his mundane narrative of the day and all his accomplishments, which might seem trivial to you but are very meaningful to him. Do not dismiss everything he says or interfere with his words by saying, “I’ll talk to you later; first, clean your room!” That isn’t very reassuring, and even though he is just a child, he will keep a memory of how rudely you have treated him.
Start setting a good example
When parents take the time to talk about something important, actions speak louder than words. Setting a good example by practicing what you ask your child to do will inspire them to develop good habits; Children learn good habits from their parents and are less likely to adopt bad ones if their parents abstain from them. Be grateful for your child’s sincerity and honesty.
Start looking for ways for holistic development
A child’s future and holistic development are also dependent on proper parenting. In the case of bad parenting, actions taken by a parent could negatively affect a child’s psychological and behavioral characteristics.
An example is when a parent hits the child publicly, does not motivate, does not support, or does not love the child enough. Any such parenting habit can adversely affect the child’s physical and emotional well-being. So it is wise to pamper your child with a balanced parenting approach where he neither tends to develop a sense of arrogance at one point nor a feeling of humiliation at the other.
Final thought
Even if it was not your intent, leaving your child hurt and scarred cannot be undone. Believe it or not but the effect of bad parenting on a child’s behavior and mental health can last for years. Parenting is something to handle with care, compassion, and tenderness — as the course of parenting determines the character of the coming generations.
Your child is your biggest liability and will remain so throughout life. It is, of course, your desire to provide the best for your children. Unfortunately, this instinct often leads to doing things that adversely affect your children.
Fostering him with utmost care and love must be your goal. Many others like you are going well with their child nurturing, and you are not out of the league. However, it would be best to keep all your senses awake so as not to bury yourself under a load of ideal parenting practices.