The word authoritarian means favoring or enforcing strict obedience to authority at the expense of personal freedom.
In parenting, this style is popularly known as tough love! Parents want their child to obey the rules without debate or compromise. Many people choose this approach because it is dictated by their ethnicity, culture, or ethical beliefs. It could also be the way they were raised, have no experience with anything else or may have it embedded in their subconscious mind. They believe that the greatest way to keep power is to rule with an iron hand.
On the other hand, Authoritative parenting shows more warmth and has boundaries for their kids, but they aren’t seeking mindless obedience. They understand how essential it is to have a good relationship with their kid, therefore they value the child’s voice, ideas, and thoughts.
What are some characteristics of Authoritarian Parenting Style?
- You may not be physically or emotionally near to the child, to make them feel warm, or nurturing.
- There are rules for everything and you want your child to obey it, without any questions being asked.
- You set high standards and expect your child to achieve it.
- If your child breaches or questions the rules, there is fast and severe punishment.
- You do not encourage your child to express themselves, and they are not permitted to speak back.
- You don’t have faith in your children to make good decisions.
- You frequently assume that shaming would drive children to perform better, rather than seeking for ways to boost their children’s self-esteem.
What are the negative side effects of Authoritarian Parenting Style?
- Your child might grow up to be violent, but they can also be socially incompetent, timid, and unable to make decisions for themselves.
- The child may have a hard time controlling their anger.
- Children from these homes often have low self-esteem, poor character judgement, and will rebel against authoritative figures as adults.
- While among their friends and as future parents, they will mimic the conduct exhibited to them by their parents. Rarely do children learn to think for themselves.
- Due to a lack of social skills, your child can have trouble in social situations.
- Although they quickly conform, they also suffer from sadness, depression and anxiety.
- They struggle with self-control since they rarely get the opportunity to make decisions and experience natural consequences.
Read more about all four types of parenting
Example
Ira is a sweet little girl who craves her parents’ praise. However, it is not always simple. While having dinner with her parents, she rises up and begins to leave the table because she needs to use the restroom. Her father shouts at her to return to her seat. “We don’t just rise up from the dining table,” he explains, “we wait until everyone has finished eating then ask to be excused.”
She begins to object, claiming that she needs to use the restroom. Her father grows irritated and shouts at her that she is now talking back, and that she is not permitted to say anything further at the dinner table until everyone has finished eating.
Ira, however, is unable to maintain her composure and suffers a minor accident as a result of her anxiety of speaking to her father. She’s had enough of being shouted at. She is also aware that children in her house are not given a voice.
Her parents are irrationally rigid and will not bend their rules. As a result, Ira felt she had no choice but to accept it.
Conclusion
While an authoritarian parenting may be beneficial in some instances when strict obedience to the rules is required, it can backfire when employed as a parenting strategy. If you realise that your parenting style is more authoritarian, think about how you might start adopting a more authoritative approach into your daily interactions with your kids.
Authoritarian parents are harsh with their children, are not emotionally invested in them, and have high expectations for them. This parenting approach causes children to feel distant from their parents.
There are many different parenting methods, but it doesn’t mean you have to pick just one. Some parts of each style may be appropriate for your family, so learn about them and develop your own parenting style that works best for you and your child.